I want to be clear: I am fully aware of what was said to me, and I have not forgotten the context in which it was said. When I was in college, still developing my sense of self, and experiencing multiple forms of mistreatment-I was asked, “What do you bring to the table?” by Mr. Downing.
Given my age, my circumstances, and the imbalance of power, the question was inappropriate and dismissive. It placed the burden of justification on me at a time when I was vulnerable, rather than acknowledging the responsibilities and shortcomings of the person asking it.
In retrospect, the more relevant question would have been: What did he bring to the table? I have never judged men based on their accomplishments, yet it is reasonable to examine the record of someone who positioned himself as an evaluator of my worth. His professional status, including his role in the NFL and the protection he received within that environment, does not diminish or erase the personal and public issues he has faced.
Let’s be real. I have no DUIs. I do not struggle with alcohol. My accomplishments stand on their own merit. Despite this, he later attempted to benefit from my achievements and used aspects of my life for his own advantage. That dynamic reflects exploitation, not support.
The entire situation, viewed now with the maturity and perspective, underscores the imbalance and the absurdity of the expectations placed on me at the time.
Sincerely, the woman who brings far more to the table than she was ever given credit for. Clowns remain clowns.
Know your value, women.
Jennifer Nicole Nelson, Principal Designer
