I have avoided speaking publicly about this situation, but after recent events involving Julie Downing, my former partner Todd Downing, John Mayer, Andy Cohen, and the Christian community, I feel it is necessary to be honest. Julie knowingly pursued a man who was in an active relationship with me – a man who was lying in bed, telling me he loved me, while simultaneously engaging with her and other women. Her involvement was not the result of any ambiguity or misunderstanding; it was a choice she made with full awareness of the circumstances.
To be clear, this situation did not originate with me. I had been with Todd for years before she entered our lives. The disruption and harm followed were the direct result of her decisions and her willingness to involve herself in a relationship that was already established.
It is difficult to reconcile that behavior with the image she presents as a woman of faith. She was fully aware of the circumstances, yet chose to involve herself anyway. Despite portraying herself as an innocent party, she was part of a pattern of infidelity that was carried out against me.
What makes this even more ironic is that Todd continued to contact me privately years afterward, and even reached out to our friends about me. That was entirely his doing, and that is simply how he has behaved when it comes to me. He apologized, expressed regret, and asked whether there was still a possibility for us. During that same period, he kept her largely out of the public eye, which, in my view, speaks volumes about the dynamic between them. Are we clear.
Her narrative of being the victim does not align with the reality that she entered the situation as the “other woman.” A ring or a child does not erase the foundation on which that relationship began. This pattern of behavior is not isolated; even within his circle – including individuals such as the alleged involvement of Mike Vrabel and others in Minnesota – there have been similar issues involving infidelity and inappropriate relationships.
My frustration is not rooted in jealousy, but in the hypocrisy and the persistent victim narrative she continues to present. It is difficult to watch people hide behind Christianity while engaging behavior that contradicts the values that they claim to uphold. I have always been a strong supporter of women, but this case, she knowingly crossed a line and caused harm to a relationship that was already vulnerable.
I do not hold her in high regard, and I do believe the consequences she has faced are a direct result of her own choices. Be real – she entered the relationship as the other woman, and that is the role she chose, the one people will remember.
Respectfully,
The Real WAGS,
Jennifer Nicole Nelson, Principal Designer
